My dear men.
It is with the pained heart of a girl child of the Federal Republic of Nigeria that I put down these disturbing thoughts of mine, which I know, would awaken the heart of many of you that might have slumped in the course of their patriarchal duties to better the life of the girl child. But rather, now choose to take advantage of their ignorance to turn them into objects for satisfying selfish body cravings.
Mind you that the word ‘vulnerable’ I used in the heading of my note points at EVERY girl child in the country. But if you exonerate yours on the note that you’re a smart parent, I want to make it clear to you that the open law already makes her a separate entity from you. It gives her the right to make her choice. So, don’t be too quick to beat your chest. She could even be planning to marry that alhaji she’s been secretly dating on seeing her third period. Who knows?
I also emphatically made the point about the objectization of the girl child because I see no other aim of a grown man who takes a child as a bride.
Forgive me if this doesn’t eventually read like an appeal note due to my defiance that might show in some parts. But bear in mind that it doesn’t change my actual intention to put down one.
Here, I would prefer not to make reference to religion since it seems to be the platform for commiting atrocities lately. Our judgement would be based on conscience.
At this point, I’ll advice that if for any reason you feel you no longer own a conscience, please, stop reading and retreat into the forest you created somewhere for yourself, either within or outside. For, to me, a man living without one is definitely a wild animal.
In the whole of human race to the best of my knowledge, there are two groups of genders. The male and the female. And if either feels unfairly treated, the other should be critically examined.
From my understanding of the marriage union, the purpose a man takes a wife is for the purpose of companionship. If for any reason, that duty seems not to be so satisfactorily performed, the female stands a risk of being forsaken. No sane woman wishes that for herself, and due to this, the union entails very much hard work from her. This, isn’t a task for little ignorant girls.
To achieve success in this course requires physiological and psychological strength which a child obviously lacks.
Physiological mainly for procreation which is an indelible aspect of companionship. This is where the concern of many people come in. Because lives are involved. That of the mother and child.
Psychological when it comes to family care and coping with situations. A wife has a resposibility to take care of herself, her children and her man. And in disfavourable situations like abandonment, or worse cases, death of the man, she’s expected to remain strong. Can a child cope?
In these few days of debate over this issue, I’ve heard arguments from both the male and female folks fighting for the establishment of the law of the child bride with points like; ancient practices of early marriage, teenage pregnancy and prostitution and like lots. It beats my imagination that people of this age can pick such barbaric practices that are being fought daily to be stamped out, as valid points. Too shocking! Who put these girls in such situations?
If you belong to this group, I wish you to imagine for a moment the sweetness of having a child bride for a mother. Also, the pride as a father or brother to have your little daughter or sister of barely 13 years old bring home a man she’s already pregnant for and gladly seeks your consent to go ahead to be his wife.
I would prefer not to dwell on these points. As for me, here, none even exists.
Some women claim they were given out at an early age and have no regret about it. I’ll advice that we be truthful to ourselves, if not to anyone else.
Concerning our early teenage girls taking decisions on issues as serious as marriage, I want to remind us, in case we’ve forgotten, that this stage is one of rapid child development characterized by raging hormones. I insist that a decision that involves life made by any individual now, can and should never be taken serious. If you disapprove with me, then I’ll suggest we have our teenage children instead, in the law-making houses. Don’t you also feel they’re wise enough to make decisions that affect us?
In any human society, the law is for the protection of the weak and a tool used to curtail the natural excesses of human. Imagine a situation where none exists.
For me, this is not an issue that requires even a word of argument or debate from any human. It’s an issue that has the truth weighing down on our mind from the very moment we hear of it. From every point of view, child marriage is a devious act.
Our girls deserve a happier life. And the success of this lie majorly with the men. Their father, brother, protector and future husband.
I rest my case.