Diary entry 5: HOW I GOT HERE

I know you already know that I’m not on the low side of life. Definitely, whoever takes my own kind of decision of staying away from everyone else just to watch a person, and hoping that someday that person notices her is on the high side of life. Crazy.

Well, it’s not that I’m abnormal. Fact is that there’s barely any adult female who isn’t crazy. The difference is in the level. Some females are on the manageable level while some are out of control. And know it that most of the time, the males are the cause of the craziness. Mine inclusive. I don’t know about that of males. Maybe someday, a confident dude will tell me about it.

As a female the more the times you’ve had your string attached to them and then unhooked, the more the times you most likely have gone in and out of craziness and moved further away from yourself. And at a particular treshold, you’ll no longer be able to return.

Mine is just thrice. I call it ‘just’ because I’ve not exceeded my treshold. I’ve still got a life line. I’ve still got my life’s breath. Some females have got their strings attached just once and they’re gone. They lost everything.

Each attached string drew a huge chunk of me away from myself. So you really can’t blame me for my present state and position.

The first one was with a good looking bad-hearted dude. Dude took my heart away even though he didn’t need it. Yet he refused to return it to me. That’s how vile we humans could be at times.

The second was a loafer. He took everything I had. Everything except of course my life’s breath which I didn’t have with me. I’m still hoping that someday he’ll return them, which I know will never be possible. But each time he promises to repay me for them, and for that I’m still waiting.

Yet inspite of everything, I can’t do without having them in my way. So what do I do? Run?

I’ve spent half of my life running, from what…or who? Men? Come on. And each time, I encounter a stronger one. So I’ve stopped. I face them squarely now.

By all these I’ve been pushed down this path I walk till I’m at this edge where I sit right now. But inspite of everything I still like them. I do because I have no choice. Or do I?

Now here’s the third one. He didn’t take away anything. At least not yet. But he has my priced possession. Life’s breath.

I’m here now to get it.

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About babyadachi

I don't know who I am. I just know that I want to impact on the world using my keyboard.
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4 Responses to Diary entry 5: HOW I GOT HERE

  1. Dr Erhumu says:

    Deep, and the third one is…

  2. marilyn says:

    Amazing and very true about the craziness in various degrees in females.

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